True Colors (The Waltz)
This story contains lyrical excerpts from the songs, "Waltz with Me Joe", as recorded by Lisa Bigwood, from the Album "No One Else" , Written by Lisa Bigwood. C & P new pants publishing (ASCAP)/lisa bigwood (ASCAP), "Love Will Come To You," as recorded by Indigo Girls from the album "Rites of Passage", Written by Emily Saliers C 1992 Godhap Music/Virgin Songs (BMI), and "True Colors", As Recorded by Cyndi Lauper from the album "True Colors", Written by Tom Kelly and Billy Steinberg, C 1986 Denise Barry Music and Billy Steinberg Music (ASCAP). All song quotations are in parentheses. Blessings and thank you's go out to Cyndi Lauper, wherever you are, who's version of "True Colors" gave me the extra push to write this.)
Dedicated to Gin,
For agreeing with me last night
("...So Waltz With Me Joe/While they Close down this place....")
She smiled to herself, hips moving in tiny motions of enjoyment. Dancing was as good as sex at a moment like this, to work off the tension. Her eyes dabbled across the lights Scott had strung up around the school gymnasium. It was all exquisite for the rush job that it was, and she was glad to be a part of it.
("Waltz with me slow, don't look at my face.....")
Kevin was totally in his element up on the stage, flirting shamelessly with the DJ, despite the fresh golden band on his finger. Yes, the old Clique gang was changing, in a big way.
("You should have known I'd dance with you...")
He was more than a bit tipsy, too; she had been avoiding the punch because she knew it was spiked. Half of the party was already in home and in bed, yet most of the core group remained in a gaggle. It was like an old home week.
("It looks so easy when you know what to do...")
Rebecca was pregnant, wildly pregnant, and it almost made her jealous, except it would involve being pregnant by Shawn. And, to her, whelping a space alien's child might be more preferable. Paul might have loved him, but that didn't mean she had to overlook the man's childishness and shortsightedness.
("All of my life, I've dreamed of a dance....")
Thinking of Paul made her shiver; eerie. It had been three years, and she should have let it go. A single car accident out on the highway. She still wished she had been there; without a doubt in her mind, she knew she would have seen the deer that Paul had seen too late. He wasn't wearing his seatbelt; the car had smashed into the side of an overpass head-on. Thank God he had died instantly, she thought to herself. The paramedics told her that he would have been a vegetable had he lived, and that was something that Paul would have hated.
("But the days go so fast, you don't get much chance...")
She watched Shawn say goodbye to Kevin, then Scott, and to her at last. Rebecca gave her a similar farewell. Sean was already home in bed.
Kevin seized the microphone out of the DJ's hand, "And that was 'Waltz With Me Joe,' by...Who was that...Lisa who?..."
Scott ambled up to the podium; she wanted to slap him for his obviously inebriated state, "Hey Dude, play something for the little lady over there."
The DJ asked what they wanted, and Scott leaned over and whispered something to the man. He nodded, cooing something up. She recognized the opening notes and, reflexively, mouthed to the two of them, "Oh, fuck you!"
The song was called "Love Will Come To You." Obviously an insult.
Scott grabbed Kevin's ass, and Kevin giggled and lip-locked with his new husband.
(Dodging your fears
A field of Knives
Always on the outside looking on other's lives...)
She couldn't believe that she hadn't realized that they were gay sooner. The almost-simultaneous divorces should have clued her in to it, but she had been fairly oblivious until the wedding invitations had gone out. Florida was worlds away from New Hampshire when it counted.
They danced alone in the middle of the empty gym, and, without even saying anything to her, left the ballroom for their honeymoon suite across the hall when the song ended.
Suddenly, the music was halted, and Awkwardly, she stood there, feeling like the lone survivor of a terrible holocaust.
The DJ looked out at her. "If you want to stick around, I'll play for you." He offered.
"How much longer are you paid for?" She asked.
"About an hour."
She nodded. He put on some random, mindless dance song with a repetitive, jackhammer beat. She bobbed her head to the beat and stared straight ahead, trying not to cry.
A shadowed figure appeared near the fire exit, and she had a feeling that she knew who it was.
Stevie Richards gave her a confused look as he entered the gym, looking left and right at the abandoned room. To her relief, he wore a blue suit that brought out the glow in his eyes as The big, expensive lights that Scott had rented bounced off the lenses of his glasses.
"You're not in costume." She noticed.
"Costume?" He asked her.
"Yeah."
"I thought I was coming to a wedding," He said, "But if you like, I can put on my Superman T-shirt. It's back in the van."
She giggled; Stevie always gave her something to laugh at. Even when Paul had died, he tried to make her feel better. He smiled down at her.
Without a doubt, she knew he loved her. But she felt far too shy to ask him for more than what he gave her.
"Wait here," He told her. She watched him scramble up the side stairs to the stage. He whispered something to the DJ, and the music ceased again.
"We have a request," The DJ noted, as Stevie descended, his eyes never wavering from hers, "From a fellow named Stevie Richards. Stevie gave me the following message to read tonight: 'Chyna, I hope this song says everything I've been trying to tell you for so long.'" She prepared herself to feel shame, but instead, the air burst forth with the sound of primeval drum rhythms, followed by sweet-sounding synth chords.
Silently, her extended his arm to her, his hand open, the palm open and flat. She accepted it, and he slid her into his embrace.
(Hey you with the sad eyes,
don't be discouraged
Oh I realize it's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
you can loose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you can make you feel so small.)
Joanie exhaled slowly, looking up into Stevie's eyes. Their feet moved, and it took her a long time to realize that they were waltzing
(Show me a smile, then
Don't be unhappy can't remember when I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can
Then you call me up because you know I'll be there.)
She wanted to cry. But he kept her from doing it, because his smile evaporated the tears while they simmered within her.
(And I'll see your True Colors Shining Through
I see your True Colors, and that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your True Colors,
Your True Colors are beautiful like a rainbow.)
Not even Paul had intimated these things to her before. She felt so wanted, so needed, so loved.
"You never told me," She whispered.
"I tried to," He said, "But you didn't listen."
"I loved Paul." She said.
"I know." He said softly, "You still do. I don't want to replace him. He was a great guy, and you loved him a lot. But can't you love me a little bit, too?"
(Can't remember when I last saw you Laughing....)
His mouth trembled a bit. She realized that she was crying, but not even making a sound. He started to withdraw from her, but her hand gently drew him back.
(If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can then....)
Deep within her, a ray of light danced through, and she felt such a rapturous release. She wanted to cry, and to laugh, and to scream. It was as if Paul tapped her on the shoulder, to let her know it was OK. Their old friends were in change, in motion, constantly growing. He didn't want her to shrivel up and die in lonliness.
(...You call me up, because you know I'll be there)
I love you, Paul. I release you back into the universe. Te Amo.
(And I see your true Colors shining through...)
"Stevie..." She said.
"Chyna..." He said. His hand cupped the side of her face.
(I see your True Colors, and that's why I love you...)
"I love you, Chyna. Inside and out. The real you." He confessed.
(So don't be afraid to let them show...)
"I love you, Stevie Bear." She blurted out. And he giggled.
(Your True Colors...Your True Colors are shining through...)
Mutually, they came together in a kiss, sealing their dreams, hopes, and joy in one solitary physical action.
(So don't be afraid to let them show.
Your True Colors
Your True Colors
Are Beautiful Like A Rainbow.)