For The Love of Lipgloss
"CUT!! The Line is ' I love you, Michelle,' not 'I Love you, Mark."
The young brunette squinted up at the director, who sat perched on his crane, "I'm sorry Mr. Vander Hooven.." He sniffled, "I'm just going through a difficult time right now personally." He sniffled, dramatically.
From his seat off-stage, Eddie Izzard; thespian, crossdresser and comic, sighed dramatically and flipped his way through a copy of 'Time'. This was the sixth line that Matthew Hardy had blown this morning; it would take hours to capture the day's necessary allotment of filmed scenes.
The young brunette seemed to crumble whenever the camera was off of him, his legs quaking and his strong face trembling under the weight of the days' strain, "Can I have one more moment?" He asked the director, sounding desperate.
Up on his crane, the director threw his arms up, "Five minute break," He shouted; the soundtrack abruptly trailed off and the crew, free to make noise, began to mill around, keeping its feet off of the 'hot' set.
Matthew tore past Eddie's couch, running to a cell phone held out by a gopher appointed by the studio. His finger stabbed the redial button. Apparently, the poor boy simply couldn't reach his boyfriend.
Poor boy, Eddie thought to himself, He looks so pale and drawn. That macho boy could use some eyeshadow.
He snickered inwardly at his bitchy detachment; it wasn't really like him, he was just lost in his own morass of deep boredom. Another something that wasn't like him at all. He stubbed out his cigarette and placed his hand on the sobbing boy's shoulder.
"Matthew?" He asked.
Matt turned around on his heel, eyes wide and terrified for a moment; then he recognized Eddie and his shoulders slumped in relief, "Mr. Izzard," He sighed, "You're the only person I know who can help me with this!" He pulled the blonde actor down into a nearby directors chair (something that clearly wasn't Eddie's style; Eddie wasn't ever shoved on his posterior, he GLIDED.). "It's my boyfriend, Mark; he thinks I'm...screwing you."
Eddie blinked back at the boy in absolute incredulity, "Does he know that I'm straight?"
Matt shook his head, "He's sort of a redneck...Sees the makeup and just...assumes." He pressed the cell into Eddie's palm, tapping his blue lacquered nails. "He's not going to believe I'm just FILMING a movie about cheating. He needs proof." The boys velvet-brown eyes begged, "Please, Mr. Izzard?"
Eddie tilted his head and looked straight at the young boy, "OK, I'll help. Shall I press Re-dial?" Matt nodded. Eddie did as he bade.
The phone rang one before it picked up, a very loud, angry voice, with an accent tinged of the southland, scorched Eddie'e ear, "MATT, YOU NEED TO FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW!"
Eddie rose his brow, "He's a mean bastard, isn't he?"
Matt laughed lightly, "Not usually." He demurred.
Eddie waited for Matt's lover to finish his rant, wincing when it finished on a particularly foul note, "Well, I'm afraid that last comment was wasted on me."
"Fuck," Muttered the wrestler at the other end, "This ain't Matt! Who is this?!"
"Don't you watch HBO?" Eddie teased, "It's not Dennis Miller, if that's what you're thinking."
"Is this that Izzard freak?"
Eddie rolled his eyes, "We prefer 'sicko' on this side of the ocean, Mr..."
"..Calloway, and don't forget it! Don't you lay a fuckin' hand on my boyfriend, y'all understand?!"
"Mr. Calloway, did you read my interview with The Advocate last month?" He heard Hardy giggle beside him, "The Six-Page, highly publicized one? If you didn't, I'm in need of a new agent."
"What the hell are you drivin' at?"
"Oh, just checking to see if you've figured out I'm straight.." The humor in his voice rang through, "And not screwing your boyfriend?"
This took the piss right out of 'Taker. He paused and swallowed hard, "That a fact?"
"Yes, yes it is. In fact, I'm going to ask him to set me up with that Lita girl. She's the only woman I've ever seen that wears as much makeup as I do." Matt was almost keeling over from his laughter, quite aware that Eddie was being facetious.
"Ahh...yeah...shit, I'm sorry about that.."
"Oh, no trouble at all. But you might want to apologize to Matthew here." He thrust the phone into the elder Hardy brother's hand, who immediately dominated the couch with his sprawled, giggling form. "And, for Chrissakes, say you love the bloke!" Eddie shouted over his shoulder, walking off to craft service for a spot of Danish.
By the time he'd returned, Matt had hung up from his talk with Mark and was having his makeup reapplied. "Thank you for that."
"Not a problem," Eddie smiled, tucking one leg underneath the other and biting into his Danish, "Marvelous," He said with a full mouth, then swallowed, "Out of curiosity, has this Mark ever seen your brother?"
Matt gave him a puzzled look, "Of course, why do you ask?"
Eddie was amused by the circle of prejudices and shrugged his shoulders, "Nothing, nothing."
"HARDY! WHILE WE HAVE DAYLIGHT, PLEASE?" The Director demanded.
Matthew tossed off his bib, "They need me; see you in a bit!"
Eddie smiled indulgently, sinking back on his sofa to wait for his cue.
"PLACES!"
"MARKER!"
"SCENE 12, FOR THE LOVE OF BRIDGETTE BRUENWALD"
"ACTION!"
"....But, Parker, I cannot love another. I love you, Eddie!"
"OH, FOR THE LOVE OF...CUT!"