Christmas Tide
She was quietly bleeding into her panty hose, and the only thought she could coherently muster was that she hated her prompt and punctual biological anatomy.
She smiled, fakely, at every person whom she passed on the way to the bathroom, where she threw herself down on a toilet and grumbled her way through the changing of yet another maxi pad. Why did her cycle have to become an issue around Christmas time? She grumbled to herself mentally, wrenching her nether hair from the grip of the pad's sticky tape before rolling it into a ball and putting a fresh pad down.
Rinsing her hands at the sink, she couldn't help but chuckle as Tori Wilson staggered from another stall, the effects of one too many a Champaign cocktail showing in her eyes as she reached for the paper towel dispenser, giggling.
"Don't let Stephanie buy you another punch," She warned dizzily, "She's gotta be be doctorin' that stuff!" She hiccuped merrily, the scent of punch perfuming the air.
"Of course," She icily intoned, "It couldn't be the scotches you chased it down with."
Torrie pointed at her with a wiggling, unstable pointer finger, "Ya need to loosen up, Ivy."
"Loosen up?!" She snapped, "I'm so bloated that I can't even BREATHE in this dress, and you want me to LOOSEN UP!?"
Torrie held out her hands, begging off, "Woah, Ivy, woah..."
"It's I-VOR-Y!" She snapped, "It's really LISA, but if you want to call me by my other name, GET IT RIGHT!"
Torrie could only blink at Ivory, shocked at her outburst. Breathing heavily, her deeds crushed in on her and tears came to Ivory's eyes, spilling over. "I'm so sorry, Torrie!" She whimpered, "It's just my damn 'monthlies'." She explained furitively, gesturing to her lower anatomy, which churned with cramps. "They're heavy this month."
"Awww.." Torrie slapped her on the back, "Don't worry, Ivy; it ain't nothin' none of us haven't been through before."
Ivory blotted at her mascara-free eyes, "Damn! I left Stacy with Stephanie!" She grabbed her miniature handbag and rushed out of the room, causing an off-balance Torrie to fall to the floor.
The little brunette pushed her way through the mingling crowds, firmly blocking Steven Richards into a bowl of clam dip on her way to her girlfriend.
"...So then I crushed their IPO single-handedly!" Stephanie concluded, downing a finger of whisky, Stacy stared at her rather loose boss as she tried to ply her with another cup of punch, "More libation, Stace?"
"No, I'm afraid I can already see the pink elephants," She joked. Just then Lisa reached them and thrust herself between her boss and lover.
"Hello, Stephanie," She snarled.
"Lisa," She smirked, "I see you're seeing...Red."
"Don't patronize me, Stephanie. I saw Torrie in the locker room and she appears to be, shall we say, 'snuckered'."
Stephanie rolled her eyes at the woman. "She got herself snuckered."
"That's what I think, but then I find you forcing punch down my girlfriend's throat." She reached over to the nearby buffet table and began to shove chocolate truffles into her mouth, "And thab tha bo bsl." She said around the food in her mouth.
"Huh?" Stephanie asked,
Ivory swallowed, "I said, 'you're trying to get my girlfriend drunk so that you can take advantage of her!"
Stephanie was horrified, "You're insane! Stacy isn't even a reasonably attractive woman!"
Stacy's face screwed up in anger.
"Now you've wounded her honor! I demand satisfaction, and another plate of chocolate linguine!"
"Hah! I challenge you to...to..." Stephanie suddenly broke down weeping, "Aww, Lisa, I didn't mean anything by it! I'm just going through some..hormonal stuff."
"You're on the rag, too?"
"Yes!" Stephanie admitted, sobbing, "And I'm on my last tampon! All I want to do is get out of here and hole up in my bedroom in a pair of PJs!"
"Me too!" The women embraced each other.
"Oh, that does it!" Stacy snapped, "I'm going to go blot Torrie off the floor and take a cab home." She walked away, muttering her need for a bag of potato chips.
Steven, having observed the entire incident, was using his girlfriend's handbag as a towel.
"They shriek, they babble, they argue...you wonder why men can't understand women."
She promptly backhanded him into the cocktail weenies, leaving him lying in pursuit of a bottle of Midol.