Bend or Breathe
"If it doesn't bend or breathe, then it doesn't grow, it seems."
-Nanci Griffith-Anything But Me
***
"Why do they do it, Lis?"
I'm cleaning up old beer cans by the score, tsking mentally at my brother. "Do what?"
"Why do girls always try to break boys hearts?"
"Bart, that's a little bit simplistic. But..."
"Yeah?"
"Jessica's a little, how should I put this...indiscriminate."
"You think she was cheap?"
"I'm trying to be nice, Bart." I put myself to work on the pizza boxes, dumping them out. Bart lets out a long, deep sigh from his position on the bed. "You're not going to be sick again, are you?"
"No." He turns over to watch me. "Lisa, you don't have to do this. It's not your job to take care of me."
"Bart, it's always been my job to take care of you! And you've ALWAYS resented it!"
"But you've got kids of your own now." He sat up. "Oooh, my head..."
"Lie down. I'll get some aspirin."
"I'm not a baby." He frowned. "Is my soup hot yet?"
"Yes, big boy, it is."
He scowls at me when I pour him a mug of broth. Two hours ago, Mom summoned me from a teacher's conference in a panic; she hadn't heard from Bart in two weeks. She and my dad were slated to take him out for a celebratory dinner today; Bart is scheduled to report for his first appearance at the Springfield Courthouse...my brother being the public defender, not the person on trial...for the first time tomorrow. I found him on his couch, drunk, and deeply upset that his girlfriend had dumped him for a seminary student.
I was shocked to learn that his girlfriend was Jessica Lovejoy. Of all of the women under Buddha's warm embrace...
"You know she's bad for you, Bart, but you went back to her like an infant searching for his bottle."
"I thought she'd changed. We were kids, Lis, everyone does stupid, mean stuff when they're kids."
"Jessica's the kind of woman who never, ever changes. She's a manipulative, deceptive girl." I take another long look at my brother's mini-kitchen to make sure that everything's finally in its proper place before handing him his broth and concluding, "I'm only glad you didn't act impulsively and marry her."
He closes his eyes. "And I'm not the same person who married strippers on a whim."
"You honestly could have fooled me, Bart." Instantly, I regret my choice of words.
"It's still not enough, is it?" He blurts out, angrily. "I got my degree, I worked my way through college and law school, and I'm still the same old 'El Barto' to you!"
"Of course you are! It's a part of you that I cherish deeply!"
He staggers back to his mattress. "I didn't think you cherish anything about me, Lis."
"I love you. I just wish you wouldn't make so many unfortunate lifestyle choices. You should go out with girls who actually like you."
"Like who?"
"I heard Laura Powers' divorce was just finalizes..."
A little gleam flickers in his eyes. "She wouldn't know me from a hole in the wall."
"I wouldn't say that..."
"Please tell me you didn't give her my number!"
"Well..."
"Lisa, I don't need you or mom meddling in my dating life!"
"I know. And the correct word is 'assisting'."
"I don't make fun of you for marrying a guy named Thelonious."
"Your first wife's name was Brady Blossom! That couldn't have been real!"
And then he starts laughing.