The Grumpy Young Men Series
>(Closing Line Shamelessly ripped off from the Golden Girls)
"Is he still there?"
Michael Manna peered over his shoulder, "Yeah," He whispered back. Michael Lockwood's stride increased.
Stevie tried to follow Michael's stride, but when the little guy got going he was hard to keep up with. Somehow he managed to outrun him, shorter legs and all. But a glance over his shoulder confirmed it; Funaki was five inches away from them, ready to catch up.
He finally stopped and faced the young man, "What?" He snapped.
Funaki gasped and stood perfectly still. Michael kept walking, right into a dressing room and shut the door.
Stevie rolled his eyes and returned his attention to Funaki, "What do you want?" He asked. Funaki placed his hands on his hips and released a perfectly intelligent series of sentences in flawless Japanese.
"Damn," Stevie groaned. Tech guys filed by all of the time, he called to them, "Can anyone speak Japanese? Anyone?"
He saw him walking down from the corner of his eye. "That's it!" He said, then shouted, "Hey, Sting."
Steve Borden froze in mid-stride and walked over to the two younger men, his face filled with confusion, "Huh?"
"Do you speak Japaneese? I know you went overseas for awhile a few years ago and..."
"Actually, there's a funny story behind that, you see..."
"That's nice...would you just translate what he's saying to me?!"
Steve Borden rolled his eyes, "Ask him a question, I'll try to follow along."
Stevie nodded and asked Funaki, "Why have you been following us for the past few, oh, YEARS?!"
Steve translated the question to Funaki. Funaki's brow furrowed, and he quickly replied. Steve said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"What?! What's supposed to be obvious? All I know is that every time I turn around, you're behind us?"
Steve translated, and Funaki's answer was more animated this time, "He says 'think long and hard about why that might be."
"Damn riddles...Umm..Is the answer bigger than a breadbox?"
Steve snorted, "Now, I'm not going to translate something stupid like that. Give me a smart question and I'll get you a real answer."
Stevie frowned, "Dammit! All I want to know is why he's following us!"
Steve sighed and translated it quickly. Funaki rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, relaying a response quickly. "Ask your blond pillow warmer why."
Stevie smiled, "Look, I know you must be jealous of us...we do have a pretty hot relationship. Why don't you try to see if Taka's interested?"
Steve once again translated for Funaki, who laughed out loud, "You?! My friend, you're a skinny, weak girl; and your friend's a blond midget. I like my men..dark and mysterious," He made eyes at Steve.
Stevie was furious, and howled, "Crash!", stirring the blond from his hiding place. He crossed the room.
"What?"
"Apparently, you know why Funaki has been following us all of this time. That true?"
Mike blushed, and squeaked out a bluntly untruthful, "No!"
Stevie ground his teeth together, "You're lying."
Three sets of inscrutable eyes bore down on Mike; the heat of them broke him down into admitting, "All right! All right! Remember the time we played cards with Funaki?"
"Yeah."
"Well...I still owe him the money."
Steve was enraptured in a conversation with Funaki, to the point that Stevie had to shout over their words for confirmation.
"Well, excuse me!" Snapped Steve, "He actually wanted to hear my story!"
"Just translate!"
Steve snorted and did that; Funaki confirmed the story as true. "Dammit! This is why I don't let you handle the bills at home!" Stevie took out his wallet and, using Mike's shoulder, wrote a fat check for Funaki and handed it to him.
"Konichiwa," Funaki smiled, stuffing the check into his back pocket. With that, he linked arms with Steve and they continued past Mike and Stevie.
"Wait!" Mike asked, "Wasn't there...I mean, don't you."
Steve and Funaki stopped in the middle of the concrete walkway and shared a deep kiss.
"That's a no, Crash." Steve smirked, pinching Funaki's ass and continuing to walk away.
Mike pouted, "But I..Damn, that hurt." He decided to distract himself from his wounded ego, "I wonder what the story was about?"
Steve laughed, escorting Funaki out of the room, "A pillow...Shannon Moore...The phrase 'Oooh! Stud!'. Draw your own conclusion!"
"Indeed!" Purred Funaki, stroking Steve's chest and then pulling him away from the doors so that Stevie and Mike couldn't watch.
"Little Shannon Moore?" Mike wondered out loud.
Stevie snorted, "Those southern boys..they mature so fast down there. I think it's the heat."
"I think it's the Gin."