Good Morning, Gangy
Steven's brow rose a few degrees as he covered his nether area with ducky-duck. "Parasailing accident?" He asked.
Raven's eyes darted wildly back and forth, "Yeah, parasailing;" He lied frantically, standing up. Thankfully his parachute had come loose, and with it his skydiving suit. Steven smirked at the bright blue bikini briefs Raven wore, "Did you miss me much, krumbkakke?" Raven smirked, "Not as much as you did me, evidently."
Steven glanced down in his lap and, quick as a wink snatched the bandanna from his bodyguard's head. "Let me take you on a tour of my casaba."
****
Moments later, Raven and Steven were walking the halls of Steven's opulent pleasure palace. Raven stared in awe at his solid-gold Playstation Two, and gawked at the majesty of his shrine to the Holy Essence of The Incredible
Hulk.
"You've certainly come a long way since we weretogether, Steven."
Steven shrugged, "I have little to do, other than amass great amounts of wealth and candy corn."
Raven sighed softly, leaning against a pillar. Great guilt filled his heart, and a great squirt of something else filled his palm.
He pulled his wet palm away from the wall, mushing his thumb around in the mixture. A sniff and a taste of the mixture only confirmed its nature.
Raven and the other Angels had spent weeks rolling around in the sticky goo posing as exotic dancers while trying to recover a stripper's lost puppy from crime lords. It could only be pudding!
Pudding, he gaped to himself, "Why would Stephen spackle the walls of his mansion with chocolate pudding? Wait a minute;A tanker truck filled with single-serving cups of Swiss Miss disappeared off of a barge recently! And it was uncannily near this island! How could these two events be connected? <./I>
Steven poked him in the back, sending Raven up a wall, "What are you looking at?"
Raven held out his pudding-coated hand and Steven's eyes darkened, "I see you found my little secret. It seems I'll have to have Justin and Shane here dispose of you with these," The two bodyguards cocked their guns, "Unless you
vow that you've returned to love me, and me only!"
Scott grinned, "Oh, baby, I love you!" He said, in a very shrill, high-pitched, false sounding voice.
Steven thought for a moment, "Works for me," He said, and the guards holstered their guns, grumbling disappointedly.
"Now, my ex-love, you must prepare yourself for the banquet I'm throwing for the Candy Mafia! Your leather shorts are upstairs!"
Raven brushed his hair out as he adjusted himself in his leather shorts.
"Razzifrazzin shorts," He muttered, prying the material from his skin and applying yet another liberal coat of baby powder.
A tapping sounded from the picture window. He looked over his shoulder and discovered none other than Edge, hidden in the shrubbery. Scott ran to the window and pressed his ear to the glass.
"Cool shorts!" Edge piped.
"They're hard to wear," Scott grumbled, "Any luck finding that smile?"
" Chris is out on the beach searching for it in the dunes."
Raven rolled his eyes, "Find anything?"
"Several sailors on shore leave and the phone numbers for half of Pewaulkee's Power Lifting team."
"I found something, something you'll never believe!"
"My spray starch?"
"No! Steven's plastering his new mansion here with
pudding! Ill-gotten
pudding from the Swiss Miss Tanker Incident!"
"The one we're in an international incident over in Franzistan?"
"Yeah!"
Edge frowned, "Wait, Scott! How can you tell it's the Miss' pudding? It could be Jell-o, even Kozy Shack; you never know!"
"Dammit, Edge, I know Swiss Miss when I taste it." His eyes darkened, remembering his weeks as a stripper, "All. Too. Well."
Edge sighed, "Well, I'll see you at the party tonight."
"How did you know about it?"
"Those Power Lifting Boys invited us." Edge giggled, "I hope I get a little uplift from one of those boys tonight!"
"Remember the mission," Raven sternly lectured, "And I'll see you in an hour."
He tried valiantly to carry off the picture of a cheap, blowzy tart. Steven had given him clothing that matched the part; the aforementioned shorts, black lace shirt and pirate boots. He skidded across the room in them on Steven's arm while they talked with those lollipop Larcenists; the only relief being noticing
At dinner, the talk was all candy. "I've got a shipment of Tamarind coming in from Guatemala that's gonna make me a millionaire." One crowed.
"Tamarind?! You fool, no one's gonna buy Tamarind!! .They're gonna be lining up for my sugared kelp, that's what they're going to do."
Edge gasped and locked eyes with Scott. It was worse than they feared! Poising the world's youth with sugared kelp! They would never regain their taste for sugar again! The world's dentists would go bankrupt! It just wasn't right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Thank you for mentioning your favorite confection, Mr. Whipple," Steven smiled, "For it just so happens that desert tonight is the very first output of our joint conglomerate, KelpieSquash!" A butler wheeled in the kitchen tea
cart on which was an unveiled tray of what appeared to be rotting lime Jell-O. Every person at the table muffled their distaste, the Angels especially.
"Ugh..It looks fantastic, boss!" Justin, the bald bodyguard piped. "Doesn't It?" Steven grinned, "Now, who wants the
first taste?"
Panic crossed countenance after countenance, up and down the table. Before an excuse could be made, Steven scooped up a log of the stuff and deposited it on Raven's plate.
"Here, my love. Prove your loyalty to me. Eat my
kelp!"